Featured Writer of September 2023
Welcome to the Featured Writer of September 2023! This month we are delighted to have S.J Roth and his play "Research."
In March 2023 his play Poire Au Cognac was presented as a staged reading as part of The Ensemble Studio Theater’s Winterfest in Los Angeles. His plays have been produced and workshopped in Los Angeles at The Ensemble Studio Theater, The Zephyr Theater, The Matrix Theater, The Moving Arts
Theater, The Stella Adler Theater, and The Audrey Skirball- Kenis Theater; in New York City at The Belmont Playhouse, The Brooklyn Academy Of Music, The Ensemble Studio Theater,
The Manhattan Class Company, The New York Shakespeare Festival, New Voices, Primary Stages, The Thirteenth Street Theater, The World Trade Center and in Connecticut at The Maxwell Anderson Playwrights Theater. His screenplay for the family comedy, The Chaperone, starring WWE superstar
Triple H and Ariel Winter from the TV comedy hit Modern Family, was produced by World Wrestling Entertainment and is streaming on Prime Video and Tubi TV. In August 2019 His screenplay ROCKETGIRL was presented as a live table read by the SAG/AFTRA Table Read Series at The American Film Institute. He holds an MFA in Playwriting from Carnegie Mellon University.
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RESEARCH
A ten minute play
By S.J. Roth
CHARACTERS
MAURICE: Late 30’s. A gangster. Volatile.
EVE: Early 20’s. A librarian. All too eager to assist.
SCENE 1
EVE sits at the help desk at the library. She
smiles as MAURICE, wearing a long trench
coat, approaches. He eyes the library, wary of
being watched. He stands before Eve who is
eager to help.
MAURICE
I need some books.
Eve’s eyes dart to her computer screen
EVE
Genre?
Maurice tilts his head in confusion. Eve remains
perky and willing.
EVE
Type... Type of books?
MAURICE
Research books.
EVE
On what topic?
MAURICE
I wanna make somebody disappear.
EVE
So Magic....
MAURICE
No. Not magic. This is not about pulling a nickel behind some fool’s ear.
EVE
Just a hint. The more narrow you make your search, the more successful you are going to be.
MAURICE
If anybody has got to narrow his search, it’s him. He’s the one who has to narrow where
to run and hole up. Not that any place is safe because I’m going to find him, regardless.
EVE
I’m sorry, sir. I’m a bit confused. What exactly do you want to research?
MAURICE
How to do in a motherfucker!
Eve eagerly types on her keyboard.
EVE
Let’s see. Do in... Do in... I’m not finding anything with do in. Is there any other word or
phrase we could substitute?
MAURICE
How about finish off. Or make it simple. Just off. Off could work real nice.
EVE
I’m not finding anything.
MAURICE
How about ice. How to ice somebody?
EVE
How to ice a bundt cake... How to ice skate.. How to ice your face...
Eve bolts up and raises her voice.
EVE
How about... murder? There are so many results for murder!
Maurice leaps back.
MAURICE
Could you lower your voice? This is a library. You of all people should know that!
Besides. This is personal.
EVE
I understand and I apologize. I just get so excited when I hit a roadblock that I
successfully overcome.
MAURICE
Overcome? What have you overcome? You haven’t got the book yet.
EVE
True enough. But now we’re off and running! How about A Book For Dummies?
MAURICE
Dummies? Are you callin’ me a fuckin’ dummy?
EVE
Sir...The children’s section is right behind us. .... I know you’re probably unaware but
you’ve already used two words that are technically against our library’s code of conduct.
(She whispers)
I let you slide with “motherfucker” but now I have to draw the line.
MAURICE
Ever think your behavior is against the library’s code of conduct? Callin’ me a dummy.
The nerve! Do you expect me to take that lyin’ down?
EVE
I can explain.. there’s a series of books called Books For Dummies. They have them on an
incredibly wide range of subjects. Everything from Biomechanics for Dummies to ebay
For Seniors.
MAURICE
My bad. The last time I was in the library was eighteen years ago. They didn’t have
books for dummies then. And they should have. There were just as many dummies back
then. Maybe even more.
EVE
Wait... let’s see now... “Confessions Of A Murderer” “A Need To Kill” “I Am A Hitman”
MAURICE
Nice. Nice.
EVE
“The Dummies’Guide To Serial Killing” is also on the shelf.
MAURICE
It’s not a serial killing! It’s a one and done. It’s just friggin’ Chico!
Eve freezes.
EVE
Sir... sir... are you saying you... as in you yourself... actually want to murder someone?
MAURICE
Fuckin’ Chico!
EVE
This is so typical. I get so lost in the weeds I forget the big picture. It breaks my heart to
tell you, but I can’t assist you anymore.
MAURICE
Why the hell not?
EVE
I would be considered an accomplice to a murder.
Maurice storms around in concentric circles.
Eve rises from her chair. She approaches Maurice.
EVE
Sir...
MAURICE
I’ll leave.... Just blowin’ off a little steam so I don’t do somethin’stupid... somethin’ I’ll
regret... thanks for your help. Sorry about the cursin’ and not knowin’ about books for
dummies. And you’re right. Protect yourself. The last thing you wanna do is go up the
fuckin’ river. You’d never read again. It’s so noisy in the joint. You can’t concentrate.
Maurice heads out.
EVE
Wait! Come back!
Maurice stops in his tracks. Eve motions for him to return. He does.
EVE
I know I shouldn’t do this... I know it’s not my place... I’m just the librarian at the Help
Desk... but I know how challenging life and particularly Mondays can be. I’d like to
suggest something. Have you ever thought of reading a self help book?
MAURICE
A what kind of book?
EVE
Self help. A book geared toward readers solving their personal problems.
MAURICE
Are you saying I got personal problems?
EVE
I’m sorry. I don’t mean to upset you.
MAURICE
You said it. Now you gotta own up to it. What personal problems do you think I got?
EVE
You want to murder someone don’t you?
MAURICE
You’d want to murder Chico too if you knew what he did.
A pause.
EVE
I overstepped myself, didn’t I?
MAURICE
You could say that.
EVE
This is why I hate the Help Desk!
Eve starts to cry.
EVE
I can’t help everybody and sir... it’s such a painful, bittersweet realization. I really, truly,
wanted to help you...I hope you understand that.
MAURICE
Hey... Hey... Relax. ..Don’t freak out. People are gonna think I’m givin’ you a hard time.
Harassin’ you. And I’m not and I’m gonna have to tell them I’m not but they won’t
believe me and then I’ll go berserk and heads are gonna fly. So chin up. Look... it’s been
forever since somebody overstepped for me. And you did your best. I got no problem
with you.
EVE
You swear?
MAURICE
On my mother’s grave.
EVE
Thank you. Would you like me to look up some self help books on anger?
MAURICE
Why? Chico started it.
EVE
I never met Chico....
MAURICE
And God forbid you ever do!
EVE
But in some sense he isn’t the problem.
MAURICE
How do you figure?
EVE
Here I go. Overstepping myself again.
MAURICE
Go ahead. Overstep. I give you permission.
EVE
I’m not saying he didn’t do something nefarious.
MAURICE
Oh.... he did something very nefarious alright. Not only that. He did something wicked.
EVE
The problem as I see it, and mind you, I’m eleven months from earning my Master’s
degree in library and information science and I’m far from worldly but...
I do know this, whatever Chico did ...a self help book can help you modulate your
feelings - particularly your rage - toward him.
Eve reaches for a small piece of yellow paper.
She writes on it and gives Maurice the paper.
EVE
The eight hundred section. Take the stairs and make a right.
MAURICE
How many times do I have to tell you? Chico started it.
EVE
Our staircase is under construction. You’ll have to take the elevator.
Maurice looks at the yellow paper.
MAURICE
I can’t do it.
EVE
Why?
MAURICE
I can’t go on elevators. I got a combination of agoraphobia, claustrophobia and
acrophobia. Like a hero from Mario’s on the corner. Hold the fuckin’ mayo.
EVE
That’s a big problem.
MAURICE
You’re tellin’ me. My whole life I never saw the second floor of Sears.
EVE
Last week a very nice lady was looking for books on Japanese Tea Gardens. I gave her
the call numbers. The computer said there were nine on the shelf. She went upstairs,
looked, and came back down. There were none on the shelf. None!
MAURICE
Son of a bitch. They got a bunch of clowns workin’ here.
EVE
I did something you are never supposed to do. A cardinal rule of the front desk. Never go
upstairs and leave the front desk unattended for a long period of time. Overstepping once
again!
MAURICE
Hey... sometimes you do what you gotta do. How long did you go?
EVE
Twenty minutes. When I look I really look.
MAURICE
You know your craft. Good for you.
EVE
When I came back down the very nice lady had left. But the head librarian, Ms. Gilroy
was waiting for me and she was furious. Apparently a group of middle school kids had
approached the front desk all needing to do research projects and I wasn’t there to help
them!
MAURICE
First come first serve.
EVE
Ms. Gilroy put me on probation. I haven’t even worked here six months and I’m on
probation!
MAURICE
You and me both!
EVE
You too?
MAURICE
It’s like a black mark.
EVE
A defaced book.
MAURICE
But it’s not forever. One day you’ll be free.
EVE
If I go upstairs and leave the front desk and look for you, I’ll lose my job. Ms. Gilroy is
watching me like a hawk.
MAURICE
Don’t go. You’ll lose your job.
EVE
I’m going to.
MAURICE
You can’t. I’m not worth it.
EVE
You are. I can’t let you murder Chico.
MAURICE
It’s not your problem.
EVE
It is. I’m in too deep!
Maurice takes a step back. Looks at the ceiling.
Then gives a quick take of the library. Takes a
slow, deep inhale. He opens up his trench coat.
Eve stands aghast at the silver and gold that shines inside his coat.
MAURICE
Pick out something. Anything you want. A pair of earrings. A necklace. A couple of
diamond rings.
EVE
Where in the world....
MAURICE
It’s not the time to explain. C’mon. Take something before that hag, Ms. Gilroy sees.
EVE
I can’t. Not without paying.
Maurice pulls out a gold necklace from his inside pocket.
It’s yours.
EVE
It’s beautiful but I can’t take it.
MAURICE
You gotta. I insist.
EVE
But...
MAURICE
I don’t know what happened. Maybe it’s knowin’ there are self help books upstairs on the second floor. Not that I’d ever read them because of my condition. Maybe it’s because I met a respectable person - a librarian of all people - who’s on probation too. Go figure. Maybe because somebody spoke to me like a real person and not some tatted up animal... maybe because you got your own warden - Ms. Gilroy - breathing down your neck... whatever went down, my heart rate is back to normal and I don’t feel like doin’ in Chico. At least for the moment. And I’m gonna go with that. Cause you never know when things are gonna change. Go on. Take it.
Eve takes the necklace. She holds it close. She hands him a piece of paper.
MAURICE
What’s this?
EVE
An application for a library card.
MAURICE
I don’t think I’ll be coming back. This was just a spur of the moment thing.
EVE
You never know when things are gonna change.
Maurice eyes the library, wary of being watched.
MAURICE
You got a pen?
****
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Thanks for reading this month's Featured Writer! Come back next month for more works by talented writers.
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