May Write Bites

   Welcome to this month's edition of Write Bites! We have some excellent writers this May: Roger Brookfield with "I Never Hire Anybody but the Best People", and Ben Scranton with "Unplanned"! 

I Never Hire Anybody but the Best People

By Roger Brookfield

CHARACTERS

BARRON: real estate developer. Male

MARION: executive in Barron’s organization. Female

TIME and PLACE

BARRON’s office in the current time. 

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(BARRON is on his cellphone with a reporter as MARION enters and puts papers on BARRON’s desk.)

BARRON

Yeah, I know. Lost five people in one day--and, you know, it could’ve been worse. Yeah, it could’ve been-- I was supposed to be on the plane with them. 

MARION

What? You weren’t supposed to--

BARRON

(Muting the phone)

I can’t let this go by without getting some press out of it for me. I’ve got to, you know?

(Back to the phone as MARION is visibly appalled.)

Yeah, we had construction problems at one of my properties and I was gonna go look at it, only I had too much work here. So I told ‘em I’d catch ‘em this weekend—

(He can’t ignore MARION’s reaction so he mutes the phone again)

What?

MARION

Why are you lying? You weren’t scheduled to go there-- And you know it! And you never fly anywhere except in your own plane!

BARRON

So? What’s your point?

(Back to the phone. As he says what follows, MARION scoops the papers from the desk and dumps them in a garbage can.) 

 

And they were all good people; I never hire anybody but the best people—what’re you doing?!

MARION

Being one of the best people.

BLACKOUT

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Unplanned

By Ben Scranton

JILL: What do you think? (Beat) We’ve got to decide this together. 

TED: Yeah, I know.  

JILL: So . . . ? 

TED: I like the name. (Hesitant) Eliza. But . . .  

JILL: I know. We don’t know yet. It could be . . . Rhett. You love Gone with the Wind. 

TED: I like Rhett. 

JILL: You don’t sound convinced. 

TED: You asked me what I think, and I think we need to think it over.  

JILL: Eliza, after my Aunt Eliza. She was feisty and fun. Or Rhett; the handsome scoundrel.  You know our lives will never be the same.  

TED: Yes, that’s the thing. We didn’t plan for this.  

JILL: What? What are you talking about? We discussed this many times before we were married.  

TED: I’m agreeing with you. Our lives will never be the same. Let’s just start with that. 

JILL: Oh my God! I can’t believe you. You know how much I’ve wanted this to happen. 

TED: Sure, but this way – sudden and unplanned? 

JILL: Life is a crap shoot Ted. You can’t always divvy everything up into neat little piles like the actuarial you are. 

TED: Actuary. 

JILL: I know what you do. We’ll learn the sex soon enough if that’s what this is all about.  

TED: Come on, hear me out. This is a lot to consider. 

JILL: Really? An abandoned rain-soaked kitten shows up at our front door during a thunder and lightning storm and it’s a major life decision? 

TED: Yes. No. OK. I get it. You’re right. I overreacted. This will be fine. I’m fine with it. 

JILL: Really? 

TED: Yes. It will be good for us to have a pet. Builds responsibility for when we are parents.  

JILL: Good. (Tentative. Trying to convince herself.) Everything will work out just fine. 

TED I’ll call the vet tomorrow and we’ll get Eliza, or Rhett in for a check-up.  

JILL: I already called. We have an appointment for 10 o’clock. 

TED: You stinker. 

JILL: Ted.  

TED: Yes. 

JILL: There’s one other thing. (Beat) I’m pregnant. 

End of play

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   I hope you enjoyed this month's talented writers! Come back next month for more one-paged thrillers!

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