January's Redemption Review

 January's Redemption Review


   Welcome to January's Redemption Review! Each month I'll take a closer look at all the submissions I've had to decline for various reason, and publish a few plays and poems from that list. This month, "Popcorn" by Anna Evtushenkko,  "An Actor Declares" by Eric Eberwein, "Criminal Mastermind" by Matt Hanf, "This Could Have Been Avoided" by Ben Scranton, and "Emissary" by LaurA! Force Scruggs are the winners! 

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Popcorn

By Anna Evtushenkko

A videocalls B. B picks up. 

BHey! Thanks for calling. 

AIf all I get it is one call a day I'll take it. BI'm sorry. I'm just... you know. 

AIt's okay. I'm with you through it all. Close or far.  And I have an idea! 

BYeah? 

AA movie! We can watch it at the same time and keep  the call on. I miss that. 

BThat sounds good. I'm all out of popcorn, though... AOh! We have some. Don't worry. I can bring it. BThanks! That's great. 

B looks for tissues and finds some. 

ABe right there! 

A gets up and leaves. A second later, B hears a  knock on the door. B goes to the door. 

BThanks! Love you! Are you gone? 

No response. B cautiously opens the door, tissue  in hand, and picks up a bag of popcorn.


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An Actor Declares 


By Eric Eberwein

(A computer screen, or a lonely space, or a bare stage. Silence. TAYLOR walks in and just has to say something.) 

TAYLOR 

Theatre people. 

Do you remember when we were sexy and hot upon the stage, and we all got high on  applause and affirmation, and emerged into lobbies in our overheated exhausted glory,  and transcended the Word and Outlook of our data-driven days, repressed the trade we  made of sacred, sacred time for that brutal beast of money, put the audience in a trance  and fell into a showmance, and insects last in the dressing room lingered, and we all got  down at the cast party. 

Do you remember? 

(pause) 

And now we bake bread and share memes. 

(after some reflection) 

Sucks. 

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Criminal Mastermind

            By


Matt Hanf



Thief---age  40-50—

Fence—age 50-70

Setting:  dark meeting place.  The Fence is not in view of the Thief, so they can’t know each other’s identity.  The Thief has a wrapped painting.



Thief

It’s official. Criminal Mastermind. Look:  Les Demoiselles d'Avignon (hands him painting)

Fence

This is the most expensive painting…are you wearing a wire (goes to search him)

Thief

(brushes him off) I am wearing a crown, you imbecile.  Touch this.  10 million dollars.  This painting was sold…sold for that.  That is when it was desired. But if you take away what a man desires, it becomes his need…his obsession.  

Fence

How…

Thief

How did I get this?   Prisons are made of ears, eyes, lips…yes… I see you.  I see what you’re thinking…and no my friend.  My ears were more valuable than my lips.  I listened to their twisted memoirs and their self-serving world views but I soon found out…that wasn’t enough. Hearing isn’t enough…they didn’t want just my ears…they wanted my eyes…they wanted to look though me to see that I…felt what they were saying…felt it in my bones and…and that they were…they were right.  Do you know how many monologues I had to sit through from these manipulative narcissists who blame others for not being enough of a victim?  And…and then there were the lectures…no speeches…like they were running for emperor… that set out a vision of the world where they sat at the center as the world stole from them and mocked them with the bounty.  They sat on the cusp of a fantasy where they mattered and their failure was a vast conspiracy fueled by jealousy and a reality that their ignominy is a result of the simple fact they are too lazy to work, too stupid to lead and too selfish to be taken care of. And I listened, and I twisted my brain and my soul until I didn’t just understand them…I sympathized with them.  I…felt them…I understood them.  They became my friends.  Do you know what it’s like to count people whose joy can only be created out of the pain of others as your friends?  The day I was released, I sat on the bus I saw this fat man and he was talking to this old woman next to him and I heard them.  Something about children…her grandchildren, his children, I don’t know.  And I realized that I had been put in prison by them…to protect them…from me.  That their lives were more important than mine.  That they had worth and I was simply a threat to their worth and I…I’m not a violent man.  But as I walked out I pretended to trip and I used his shoulder to steady myself.  I am his fear and his fear will….what are you doing? (Fence rewraps painting and hands it to him)

Fence

I don’t need it.  I don’t want it. You steal the sun and expect someone else to hide it?  Trophies are for mantles. but to the world…they’re worthless.  Keep your painting.  Hang it on your wall.


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This Could Have Been Avoided 


Ben Scranton 


Present day. BOB is standing. SUE is seated 

BOB: Come on let’s go. 

SUE: I don’t have to go with you. 

BOB: Oh yes you do. I’ve been appointed by the court to get you there.

SUE: Where’s the regular guy? 

BOB: He called in sick. Today you got me. Come on let’s go.  

SUE stands. 

SUE: This whole community service thing is a joke. 

BOB: It’s part of your sentence, handed down by the judge. Hey, you avoided jail time.

SUE: This could have been avoided. 

BOB: Yeah, if you hadn’t stolen $2,000 from your former boss’s petty cash account it 

could. 

SUE: That’s not what I mean. 

BOB: Last week you picked up trash in the park. Today you get to help rebuild a burnt out theater. 

SUE: Yeah, I know. I saw the work order. A mysterious fire at the Red Barn Theater.

BOB: Maybe you’ll learn something today, like a construction skill. You could use it.

SUE: This could have been avoided. 

BOB: Don’t be a jerk. Your community service is a legal obligation that can’t be 

avoided. 

SUE: That’s not what I mean. 

BOB: (Sarcastic) You had a fun time at the park last week, didn’t you? Well today, 

you’re going to the theater and you didn’t even have to buy a ticket. (Laughs) 

SUE: I’ve got to use the bathroom. 

BOB: Oh alright, but be quick about it. I’ll be right outside that door. BOB exits. 

SUE: A mysterious fire at the Red Barn Theater. This could have been avoided. (A 

beat.) What more did they want from me? Be louder. Be softer. More 

emotional. Less emotional. Move around. Stand still. No, it was none of that. I 

gave a great audition. I’ve got talent, anyone can see that. If they would have 

cast me, the Red Barn Theater never would have burned down. No, this is on 

them. Like I said, this could have been avoided. (She takes matches from her 

shirt pocket. Lights one.) Ah, so pretty. (She blows it out.) 

End of play

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EMISSARY  

A Story of Loss, Healing Love & Fairies  

By LaurA! Force Scruggs  

Cast of Characters  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA: Free-spirited fairy aunt (like a fairy godmother)  who couldn’t love her niece more.  

FRANK: MORA’s husband, DESTINY’s uncle; logical, loving and creative.  

DESTINY: A very smart young girl, who ponders things deeply and can be  extremely serious as well as wild.  

SADIE: DESTINY’s mom, MORA’s sister, an amazing mother who teaches  DESTINY to not be afraid.  

FAIRY: a real magical being that wants to assist in telling the story. 

Time  

A happy time of healing & much love & funness


Place  

Chicago, IL and Fairyland 


(Opens with a bare stage. As NARRATOR/AUNT MORA tells the story, she is  making fairy wings)  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

And now, a tale of Destiny…  

Kubiando! 

Legend has it that 27 years ago, at the first Spoutwood Farm Fairy Festival, after a  spiral dance, a two year old girl, nicknamed Sweet Pea, started saying,  

Kubi, Kubi, Kubi, Kubiando!  

No one knew what it meant, but maybe:  

A FAIRY  

(flying by)  

I whispered it to her!  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

and the people of the festival decided it means the bliss of home. My five year old niece, Destiny, is a home of mine. 

It is written by Dora Van Gelder in the book, "The Real World of Fairies," that  

A FAIRY  

(they’re back, flying through)  

The fairy can control their heart center, and that is how they get into touch with  things around them, particularly living beings. When they want to respond to a  plant, they make their heart beat at the same pulse as the plant. 

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

I feel like Destiny and I’s hearts are in synchrony.  

I love fairies and have taken Destiny to a few 

A FAIRY  

(flying through again)  

fairy festivals.  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

One night, my mom, sister Sadie/Destiny’s mom and I were going to watch  Westside Story together.  

Destiny asked,  

DESTINY  

Mommy, what is Westside Story about?  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

Sadie said, knowing her daughter could handle it,  

SADIE  

Well, it’s about people fighting and they shouldn’t have and Tony gets shot in the  end.  

DESTINY  

Well, if they made the movie a little longer, a mermaid fairy could magic him back  alive.  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

Destiny is one of the most alive people I know.  

When Destiny is coloring at the dinner table, and is asked to close her eyes for  prayer,  

(DESTINY acts this out)  

she does, but does not stop coloring!  

When Destiny was about two, someone asked her,  

Destiny, can you say thank you?  

She replied, 

DESTINY  

Yes.  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

I love how literal she is!  

I aspire to be an Aunt Fun to Destiny the way Ted Frankel, former owner of a  novelty toystore in Chicago, is an Uncle Fun to me and many others. Like Steve  Presser, owner of Big Fun, another fun toy store, says,  

Ted doesn’t have any biological children, but I don’t know of anyone who has  more kids. It’s like the trouble with Tribbles, only there isn’t any trouble.  

I want to be like Uncle Fun, always creating jokes, like putting signs on things like  the Star Trek potato heads that say Starch Trek and Beam Me Up, Totty and telling  you that the plaster people aren’t drunk, they’re just made out of plaster.  

And he is slow to anger. Ted says that ‘I don’t normally get mad, but when I do,  you know, it’s good. My body knows what anger feels like. When I do, I think,  ‘Oh, this is what anger feels like, and I don’t really want to go there, but I enjoyed  it while I was there. So, thanks for visiting, bye!’ ‘  

I will never forget when Destiny was born.  

She was born on Dec. 1st. 

The next day, in the same hospital, my husband and I found out….that I had lost  my baby. I’d been pregnant for about three months - someone told me that Destiny  is my lost soul coming back to me…I don’t know about that, but, I feel very  strongly that she has some of my genes. 

One time I was taking her to the bathroom at her house. I thought she might want  some privacy as my husband was in the kitchen right by the bathroom - and so I  shut the door behind us - and immediately, she just started laughing and running  around the bathroom for several minutes - I thought, ‘Is she ok?’ and then realized  that that’s what people say to me all the time,  

Mora, are you okay?  

Yeah, I’m just being myself.

I hope Destiny never loses her fearless sense of self, pure joy and sense of play. Once it was time to leave our house and she said,  

DESTINY  

No, I didn’t play well.  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

I am inspired by Destiny to play well! Dora Van Gelder says that there are:  

A FAIRY  

(somehow appears again)  

only degrees of play in the lives of fairies.  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

Destiny was a lion for her first Halloween. For a while after that, every holiday  was Halloween to Destiny. Someone would say something about Thanksgiving or  Christmas or any holiday and she’d go,  

DESTINY  

Oh, lion? 

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA 

So, once, when she was being a lion, another adult said,  

Destiny, you’re a girl.  

DESTINY  

I’m a lion. Raaaawrrr!!! 

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA 

I hope she roars forever. 

I feel like, instead of how other animals are surrounded by natural enemies,  

A FAIRY  

Destiny is surrounded by natural friends, as the fairies are.

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

One time when I was leaving Destiny’s house and had packed up my bags, Destiny  put some of her toys on top of my bags. I don’t know why she did that - but it  made me feel good that she put her stuff with mine.  

So, a few years ago, my husband and I moved from Rogers Park in Chicago (after  being there for 12 years) to be less than a block from my sister, her husband and  Destiny, in the Logan Square neighborhood.  

One day, while we were watching Destiny, I felt bad because she had gotten an  ouchie from falling off the rocking chair. Her mom/my sister, Sadie said,  

SADIE  

Destiny, what happens to ouchies? 

DESTINY 

They get better. 

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA 

My husband/Frank and I are still recovering from our loss, but getting better, with  Destiny’s help. 

One day, Destiny asked my sister to draw a picture of our family growing up. So  my sister drew a picture of my mom, dad, brother, herself and me in front of our  house at 1409 Chadwick in Normal, Illinois. And Destiny asked,  

DESTINY  

Where’s Uncle Frank? 

SADIE  

Aunt Mora hadn’t met Uncle Frank yet.  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

So…Sadie drew Frank in the sky.  

SADIE  

Notice, she didn’t ask where her father was! 

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA 

And one day, Destiny looked at Frank and said, 

DESTINY  

Desti - Frank!  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

One day, Frank and I were taking care of Destiny and she accidentally called him  

DESTINY  

Dada!  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

My husband is very logical and he responded,  

DAKE  

My name is Frank, Uncle Frank.  

DESTINY  

Dada, dada, dada!  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

Then, Destiny thought for a moment and said,  

DESTINY  

Uncle Dada.  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

We asked their real dada if it would be okay with him for Destiny to call Frank  Uncle Dada and he’s all right with it.  

Destiny also was teasing Frank one day, calling him,  

DESTINY  

Uncle Pretty!  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

Frank didn’t care, he said,  

FRANK  

Yeah, I’m pretty. 

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

and the name stuck.  

And once, when Destiny was about two, we were babysitting her and Frank was  

going to the basement for some ice.  

DESTINY  

Where is Uncle Frank going?  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

To the basement for some ice, he’ll be right back.  

DESTINY  

Ice with meee!  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

And she ran to Uncle Frank, took his hand and went to the basement with him.  I love her determination and assertiveness.  

I am still recovering from my loss, but, with Destiny’s help, my ouchie is getting   better. 

Destiny told me one night, during her bath time, while playing with her winged  

rubber duckie,  

DESTINY  

This is a baby fairy duck and my mommy is the mommy fairy duck and sometimes  you can be my fairy mommy.  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

Even though my fairy baby wasn’t able to fly out of me…I believe, like at the end  of Westside Story, that there’s a place for us. Someday. Somewhere.  

Someone told me my miscarriage experience has been like a falling star…a  glimpse of things to come, that I will get the permanent star and that it’s a  validation of what I want.  

I remember my sister once told me that Destiny had a new tooth coming in and she  said, 

SADIE  

We decided to be excited about it.  

NARRATOR/AUNT MORA  

I don’t know what is next for me, but I have decided to be excited about it!  (MORA puts on fairy wings she’s been making and flies offstage)

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I hope you enjoyed this month's Redemption Review! Come back next month for even more rescued plays and poetry!
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